The last time I checked, a mail slot is the same as a mailbox, at least in the eyes of the United States Postal Service. That means that it is illegal to use it for anything that is not mail delivered via the Postal Service, right?

Anyway, this asswipe just stuffed a flyer for some restaurant called Wing-It into my mail slot. This is annoying enough as it is…a major peeve of mine is when people advertise in this way, either by stuffing things (illegally) into the mail slot, or littering the porch with their flyers. I make it a practice NEVER to patronize any business that does this, nor do I vote for any of the local politicians who do it.

But the asswipe was also smoking a nasty-smelling cigarette, on my porch, while he was stuffing the crap into the slot. Now, my living room and front hallway reek of the smoke. If I can’t get the stink out of here by the time Mike comes home, he’s gonna throw a fit. I already had to rip up the flyer into little pieces and flush it down the toilet, a little at a time so as not to clog things up…just to get rid of it…it stunk to high heaven, as well. He is severely allergic to cigarette smoke; we don’t go anyplace where smoking is allowed if we can avoid it, and we don’t allow smoking in our home or even on the front porch…because the smell gets in, like it just did.

I went to the Wing-It website and sent an email to complain about this, and reminded them that this sort of advertising is illegal. And I said something about the cigarette smoke, as well. I doubt they will respond, but I felt better after I let them know how much this pissed me off.

I think I need to make a few more door signs. About a year ago, I used one of my die-cut alphabet sets to make a NO SOLICITING sign. Believe it or not, it has actually worked. I have NOT received a visit from the Jehovah’s Witnesses or any other annoying door-to-door people since I put that sign up. Before, I used to get quite a few. Last year, we had a gubernatorial election, and freakin’ Deval Patrick’s people were beating the shit out of my door every damned day. I was very sick at the time, and it was driving me batshit insane. I never got up to answer the door, but maybe I should have. Maybe the sight and smell of me at the time would have scared them away for good.

But I did haul my carcass to my crafts desk and made the NO SOLICITING sign, and the knocking ended. They were still littering my porch with their shit, though.

I wasn’t gonna vote for the asshole, anyway, and I didn’t. And from what I hear, a lot of people who did vote for him want their votes back. Can you say, “one term governor”? But that’s a whole ‘nother rant.

I am going to make a NO SMOKING sign and a NO TRESPASSING sign. The door has a window which I have a curtain over so that assholes can look in, and I can put the signs inside the glass, so no one can steal them.

At the very least, the NO SMOKING sign might stop the landladies’ lame-assed workmen from smoking on the porch. I don’t care if people smoke around the back door, there is more of a buffer zone there between our unit and outside. But right on the front porch, the smell comes right in.

It needs to stop.

Anybody else wanna do something to piss me off today? We’re going for a record here!