…as of today, I have an AARP membership card.

Do you know how freakin’ OLD this makes me feel? Sheesh…when I was a kid, I used to go and visit my great grandparents. Nana and Papa were AARP members…I remember seeing the magazine that they send out in their house. It used to be called “Modern Maturity”, now it’s just called “AARP: The Magazine”.

Technically, I’m not old enough to be a member of the geezer club. You have to be 50+. But the rules also say that if one spouse is old enough, the other gets a membership, too, no matter what the age. So perhaps there are many, many women, much younger than me, who are in AARP. I mean, look at all of the rich old guys who marry 20 year old bimbos.

So Mike joined this thing, because he’s old enough. We had been seeing on various hotel reservation sites that many have a special AARP discount…a few just ask for proof of age, but most require a membership card to the geezer club. I was looking at the membership booklet that came with the cards, and there are TONS of discounts on things that we can get now. Cool!

We just can’t get the cheap car insurance that we’ve seen advertised on TV for AARP members. If you guessed that it’s because they won’t do business in Massachusetts, you win a cookie. Here, the government sets the car insurance rates, and they force insurance companies to insure bad drivers, of which there are many here. There are so many, a term has been coined for them…Massholes, or Masshole drivers.

So, not only do we have to worry about the Massholes trying to kill us on the roads every single day, but we’re also forced to subsidize them by paying higher insurance rates than we should. It’s one of a trazillion reasons we’re moving to Maine, and not ever buying a house in Messychusetts.

Anyway, it’s now official…I Am A Geezer.