It’s a major award!
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Lookee what Mike got in the mail today! It’s from his employer, the name of who I blocked out for obvious reasons.
I wonder what it could be. When I first saw it, I was reminded of the move “A Christmas Story”, when The Old Man gets a message saying that he won “a major award”. Said “major award” arrives that evening, packed in a huge wooden crate that says FRAGILE (“Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.”). And we all probably know what this major award turns out to be…
Yep, the infamous Leg Lamp! Much to his wife’s embarrassment, The Old Man thought that this lamp was a thing of true beauty, and insist that it be displayed in the front living room window, where the whole neighborhood could see it, and bask in the glory of the “soft glow of electric sex”.
Did you know that you can buy all manner of leg lamps and other Christmas Story merchandise? I was just looking for a picture of the leg lamp to use in this post, and I came upon this site, A Christmas Story House Gift Shop. Not only can you buy leg lamps of various sizes, but they even sell the Red Ryder BB guns (“you’ll shoot your eye out!”), and the pink bunny suit that Ralphie’s aunt sent for Christmas. (“He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny”, said The Old Man, after Ralphie’s mom forces him to try it on.) You can even have your very own Little Orphan Annie Ovaltine decoder pin!
I want the Leg Lamp bobblehead. As you may know, I collect bobbleheads. Most of them are baseball related, as in team mascots, and various players, most were free giveaways at the various minor league ballparks we go to every summer. But I have some non-baseball ones, too. I have the Michelin Man and his dog, the Quisp cereal mascot, but the most unusual one I have has to be The Old Man of the Mountain. The one I have is a little different from this one, but you get the idea.
I would not want a life-sized leg lamp, but the bobblehead one is cute, I’m gonna get one.
So let’s just hope that a delivery man won’t come to the door tonight with one of those wooden crates, containing Mike’s “major award”. I guess I’ll find out what it will be when he gets home tonight and opens the letter!
