I am going crazy, batshit insane. I wonder if I will EVER get a decent night’s sleep again.

And it’s all because I felt sorry for a little orange kitty that was living outside, and brought him in. Do you think he’d at least be grateful? NOOOOOOO! Instead, he’s making my life a living hell.

He has this VERY annoying habit of scratch-scratch-SCRATCHING at the vertical blinds in the living room. NOTHING I do can make him stop. That room has no door, so it’s hard to keep him out of there at night. My only options are to close him in the bedroom with us, or close him in the bathroom.

Every time he scratches the blinds like this, no matter how deeply asleep I am, I SNAP awake. But usually, he does this when I am about to nod off. And poof, I’m wide awake again.

But you see, this noise does not bother Mike. It doesn’t annoy him if he’s awake, and it doesn’t wake him up when he’s asleep. Therefore, he doesn’t care if Pumpkin keeps doing this or not, and isn’t very cooperative in keeping him restrained someplace so that I can get at least a few hours of sleep.

And Mike is officially on my shitlist today. You may know how I can’t sleep without a TV on. He sure as hell knows this. I don’t mind if he turns the sound down once I fall asleep, but if I wake up and the picture is not on, I freak.

I had nodded off while watching a late-night “King of the Hill” rerun. I was suddenly SNAPPED awake by the sound of, you guessed it…Pumpkin SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCHING the blinds. How did he get out of the bathroom, anyway? And when I opened my eyes, I freaked out because the TV was off.

After I went after Pumpkin with the Squirt Bottle of Justice™, I went and put the TV back on…for some reason, the channel I’d been watching had gone off the air, and I guess that’s why Mike turned it off. Geez, dumbass…ever heard of just changing to another channel? I don’t need the sound, I don’t care what’s on, I just need to damned picture on or else I have a heart attack.

And he’d let Pumpkin out of the bathroom, too. Jeez…how about making a little extra effort? Open door, catch cat. Go into bathroom with cat, close door, put cat down, take leak, wash hands, drink water. Pick up cat, throw him back into bathroom, quickly close door.

I am at the end of my rope here. Other than trying to re-home this cat, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried everything that I can think of.

I don’t want to have to go back to sleeping all day and staying up all night, but that might be the nonly way I’ll ever sleep again around here.