the passionate ailurophile

Well, that’s what’s here…STUPH!

Kat wasn’t shitting me…Virgin Mobile DOES ship wicked fast.   They shipped my new phone charger yesterday, and I should have it by Monday.  I’ll have to make sure to hang out here by the door that day, since they ship via FedEx, and those asses can’t be arsed to knock on the door.  So I’ll just have to keep an ear and eye out for it, before someone steals it off my porch.

Saturday, we’re going to Marlborough for some train show that Mike wants to go to.  This one, I don’t mind going to.  For one thing, is is geared more for serious collectors, so there won’t be six million bratty kids running around all over the place.  Also, it’s at a Best Western Hotel, which has a restaurant with a bar.  As in, BEER ON TAP.  So, when I get bored walking around looking at trains, I can go and drink beer.  They have some  decent local micros there, so it’s all good.  The food is decent, too, so we can eat there once Mike gets hungry.

I just need to get the hell out of the house, so I’ll go along for the ride.  As long as there’s beer there…

Mike won $100 in the Powerball on Wednesday night.  Someone else won the big jackpot, but they have smaller cash prizes.  If you get 3 regular numbers plus the Powerball number, the prize is $100.  That’s what he got.  That money will be his to spend at the train show, if he so chooses.  I hope they have something nice there that he wants.  He’s excited about going, and having a little extra cash to spend there.

And I’m glad to get to go, too…as long as there’s beer there…

Mike has to drive, anyway.  I seriously need new glasses, and I prolly shouldn’t drive until I get them and get used to them.  I have to do this before April 2008, that’s when my current license expires and they’ll make me take a new eye test.  Yeah, the MA eye test is a joke, and I could probably pass it with no glasses.  That is how much of a joke it is.  But I really DO need new glasses, have for a few years now.  So, as much as I resist visiting anyone with a DR. in front of their name, I gotta do it.  It’s not just driving, it’s reading and crafting as well that I’m having trouble with.  I need bifocals, and I have to break down and go and get them.  Just as long as the optometrist at Sears Optical can’t force me to go to a hospital, should they see something in my eyes that is wrong with me.

I am kinda scared of that, I won’t lie to you.  That’s why I want to go to my eye appointment alone, sans Mike.  I’m still afraid that they might see something wrong with me via my baby blues, and then tell Mike about it, and before I know it, my ass is imprisoned in some hospital.

Now, Mike has told me not to do anything to put HIM into a hospital again.  But he can be such a selfish schmuck…he’d no doubt put ME into the hellhole if it saved my life.  Even though I told him that I preferred death.  I think he really would put me in the shithole just to keep my ass alive, because he can’t live without me.  Maybe I need to see an attorney to make sure that I’m allowed to croak with dignity.

If he did put me in a hospital, and I somehow survived it, I swear on my cats’ lives that I’d divorce him.  I told him that many times, but I hope he knows that I actually mean it.  If something happened, and I woke up in some hospital, the first thing I’d ask someone is how I got there.  If I was told that my husband put me there, I’m all done with him.  I’d sue his ass for everything he’s got, and I’d get to stay here and keep the cats.  When my shark attorney and I got through with him, he’d be out begging for money on the streets to get by, and I’d spit in his begging cup if I happened to see his ass on the street somewhere.  Seriously.

You’d think he’d understand, as he refuses to be in a hospital again.  If I had to make a decision, I’d not make him go to a hospital if he asked me not to take him to one.  But I think he needs me more than I need him, and he’d put me through such hell just to keep my ass alive.

I took him to the hospital almost a year ago, because his appendix burst, and he asked me to take him to the shithole.  That’s the only reason I did it…BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO.  I don’t think he’ll ever ask me to again.

The hospital people seem to enjoy sucking away any enjoyment of life you might have.   I am dead serious, I believe that they get off on making your life a living hell when you are in their overpriced hotel.  I mean, you have to pay the TV lady $5 a day to have TV in your room at that hellhole…then the stupid doctor just walks in and shuts it off, without asking if it’s okay.  And then he stands there and tries to talk Mike into unnecessary surgery.  Asshole.

Also, Mike got cheated out of going to the Hugh Jass Train Show in West Springfield, due to hospital fuckups.  He should have been released in time to go.  The appendectomy went well, he was feeling great and ready to go home.

But on the day he was supposed to go home, I came to the hospital, and saw that he had all of the tubes and shit that they’d taken out of him, put back.  They said he had *stomach issues*.  I wish to hell that I could prove it, but I an almost 100% sure that this was caused by some dumbassed nurse giving him Lipitor.  It’s a cholesterol pill, but he can’t have it.  It caused him some serious stomach cramps, he quit taking it, and his doc finally gave him Zocor instead.

The hospital, however, had a *deal* with the manufacturer of Lipitor, where their pharmacy would stock only that cholesterol med.  No Zocor or anything else.  What I think happened was that some nurse came in at 5 AM or something, when I wasn’t there.  He was out like a light, and when she told him what they were giving him, he didn’t hear, and she just gave it all to him…including the Lipitor. I know that when I WAS there, and someone tried to give him Lipitor, I told them not to.  And I made sure that they didn’t.

But I could not be there 24/7…in fact, I was not allowed there most of the time.  I was treated like shit the whole time that Mike was there, I had NO rights as a spouse of the patient.  I was asked to leave the room when they were changing his dressing, even though he said that I was his wife and he wanted me to stay.  They didn’t care.  As far as they were concerned, I was a non-entity.  I was just his bimbo, his fuck of the week, whatever.  My feelings meant nothing to these assholes.

So yeah…when he was not awake enough to tell them not to give him Lipitor, no doubt they gave it to him anyway.  And because they did, he got sicker, and was forced to stay in the hellhole for almost a week longer than necessary.  He missed the cool train show, and he is still pissed about it to this day.

I need to remind him of this, in case someone tries to put my ass into some hospital.  Maybe if i end up in a hospital, and he gets treated like a non-entity, maybe then he will understand.

But, to avoid this, I will go alone for my eye exam.  So if they find anything that might warrant putting me into a hospital, he’d never have to know.  Because you KNOW that if he was there, and they found something, they’d tell his ass, and then my life as I know it might be over.

I’m all about QUALITY of life.  In other words, I’m not about to sit in some hospital for ages, so that I can live longer.  What is the point of living longer, if I’m stuck in some fucking hospital, and not living my life?  Fuck, the asshole doctor will turn off the damned ball game when and if he feels like it.  No one turns off my ball game and lives to tell tell the tale.

I’d much rather live well now, than sit in some fucking hospital and have both me and Mike be treated like shit.

Why do so few people understand this way of thinking?

I’d almost rather let myself go blind, and never drive again…than to see an eye doctor who might somehow find an excuse to put me into a hospital.  Sorry, but it’s hard for me to place trust in anyone with a DR. in front of their name.